Tuesday, May 21, 2019

YOWL - poem

Lawrence Hall


“I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed…”

-Allen Ginsberg

No. He didn’t.

He helped mediocrities self-destruct
Through formless howlings in their lonely minds
He pushed them to their deaths with obscene smirks
No more connected than foul faeces flung

Against the good, the beautiful, the true
He pitied himself, and called it rebellion
He squealed out his pimply scatologies
He destroyed the weaklings he could have helped

The best minds of his generation pitied him
But kept their children far away from it

Monday, May 20, 2019

Enough of Gossamer! - rhyming couplet

Lawrence Hall

Enough of Gossamer!

Enough of gossamer! Enough of it!
It’s just another word for spider ****!

Sunday, May 19, 2019

Topics for Discussion During Sunday Dinner with the In-laws - poem

Lawrence Hall

Topics for Discussion During Sunday Dinner with the In-laws

Knee surgery Buc-ee’s Alabama
Diarrhea Buc-ee’s Bastrop back surgery
Buc-ee’s Fort Worth foot surgery Buc-ee’s
New Braunfels abdominal surgery

Buc-ee’s Texas City divorce Buc-ee’s
Port Lavaca gastro-intestinal
Series Buc-ee’s Pearland fever and chills
Cardiac workup Buc-ee’s Lake Jackson

Blood pressure pills Buc-ee’s Madisonville
Bypass surgery Buc-ee’s Brazoria

Saturday, May 18, 2019

Soft Dachshund, Warm Dachshund, Little Ball of Fur - doggerel

Lawrence Hall

Soft Dachshund, Warm Dachshund

With thanks to everyone who gives us Young Sheldon and The Big Bang Theory

Soft doxie
Warm doxie
Little ball  of fur
Happy doxie
Sleepy doxie
yap, yap, yap! YAP! YAP! YAP! Yap! Yap! Yap! YAP! YAP! YAP! Yap! Yap! Yap! YAP! YAP! YAP! Yap! Yap! Yap! YAP! YAP! YAP! Yap! Yap! Yap! Bark! YAP! YAP! YAP! Yap! Yap! Yap! Woof! YAP! YAP! YAP! Yap! Yap! Yap! Grrrrrrr! YAP! YAP! YAP! Yap! Yap! Yap !YAP! YAP! YAP! Yap! Yap! Yap!

Friday, May 17, 2019

What Was Jesus Writing in the Dust? - poem

Lawrence Hall

What was Jesus Writing in the Dust?

-Saint John 8: 1-11

It is the topic of many homilies:
What was Jesus writing in the dust there
At the feet of the woman those men didn’t like?
Possibly he was writing to you and me:

“I know what you do when no one’s watching.”


“I know what you say in self-deception.”


“I know what you think when you are silent.”


“I’m going to fry your *ss if you hurt my child.”

And then there is this other mystery:
Why was there dust in the Temple, anyway?

Thursday, May 16, 2019

A Toy Fire Truck and a Real Ambulance - weekly column

Lawrence Hall

A Toy Fire Truck and a Real Ambulance

A friend who frequents re-sale shops and garage sales gave me a little Hubley fire truck that was some little boy’s Christmas gift long ago. Except for the axles and tires it’s a one-piece stamping with a double cab, two rolls of fire hose, a ladder, and access hatches port and starboard. On the bottom one can read “HUBLEY / LANCASTER PENNSYLVANIA / MADE IN USA / 402.” There are no USB connections, lights, batteries, or screens. You make it go by pushing it. It’s made of pot metal and some of the paint is missing, but it’s in good shape and the wheels still turn, so this little fire truck is still ready to roll on a living-room floor emergency call.

I’ve never known a little boy who didn’t want to be a fireman, and now little girls too grow up to be firefighters and EMTs and first responders.

Recently a neighbor had to do the 911 thing late at night, and within minutes Steve Sowder and Sue Sowder of the Kirbyville, Texas Volunteer Fire Department arrived in their personal vehicle with medical bags to begin remedying the situation. And then more people showed up, with rotating lights, and then more people, and then an ambulance, and I kinda lost count of all the responders who in only a few minutes were on scene out in the country.

Where would we be without our volunteer fire departments and all their first responders?

We’d be in a mess.

When there is a fire or a medical emergency in your home there is no effective substitute for properly-trained and professionally-equipped personnel to save a a life, a house, a business, a barn, a field, a forest, and all our hopes.

Beyond that, the existence of a well-trained fire service means that we can insure our property at reasonable rates.

And what are our wonderful firefighters and EMTs and first responders paid for all they do for us?


Indeed, they must hold fundraisers to support the purchase and maintenance of equipment.

Buy the barbecue, okay? And don’t ask for any change back.

So thanks to all those who serve, and on this occasion an extra thank-you to the Kirbyville Volunteer Fire Department. They saved a life.

Little toy fire trucks and ambulances are fun; real fire trucks and ambulances are glorious.


Mr. Trump's Tonkin Ghosts - poem

Lawrence Hall

Mr. Trump's Tonkin Ghosts

To Our Commander-in-Chief and Manque Leader of the Free World
And All His Old Men Golfing Buddies
Scheduling Their Tee-Times Around Missile Launches

A dying nineteen-year-old can’t even scream
When half his face has been blown away
He can only gurgle, his remaining eye
Staring wildly in agony and fear

Your man-child plays soldier on guided hunts
Kitted out like Rambo, and KA-BLAMMING
A bighorn sheep the guide spotted for him
Taking he-man selfies while yelping “OOOOH-RAH!”

A dying nineteen-year-old can’t even scream
When half his face has been blown away

("Tonkin Ghosts" may well be the title of another work; if it is, please advise me so that I can change the title.)

Wednesday, May 15, 2019

Tree Frog in the Rain Gauge - poem

Lawrence Hall

Tree Frog in the Rain Gauge

During a thunderstorm a little frog
For reasons best known to its grey-green self
Climbed stickey-toed into the chambers of
The gauge, then begged for life as the water rose

Made in China of toxic plastic for
The Weather Consortium Collective ®™
All-natural collection of earth-safe
Weather instruments to save the animals

I took it to the lawn, and gentled it out
During a thunderstorm, a little frog