Monday, May 23, 2016

Undeclared War is Good Business - Invest Your Daughter - column

Mack Hall, HSG
22 May 2016

Undeclared War is Good Business – Invest Your Daughter

Mr. Donald Trump’s butler is said to have said ill-mannered things about the President. I don’t understand this – my butler never speaks inappropriately.

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Prime Minister Trudeau got into an almost Long Branch Saloon tussle on the floor in Parliament last week, strong-arming one MP, elbowing another, and pushing others aside, like the new sheriff coming in to clean up Wild West Ottawa. A helpful video explains the dust-up employing not cowboy metaphors but sports terminology:

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Nicholas Clairmont, who writes for The Atlantic, not only opines that the un-American practice of conscription should be restored but that it should include women. Really. Nicholas Clairmont is a grown man who wants your daughter or granddaughter to be captured by press gangs, shipped out, and shot for the greater glory of Nicholas Clairmont. What a mensch, eh.

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Freedom from the Freedom from Religion Foundation – now that is a freedom much to be desired.

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Australians are experimenting with robot ranchers. These machines wander about to monitor crops and cattle while sending computer analysis to (for the present) humans. One imagines the robotic remake of Red River. Or perhaps C3PO as Matt Dillon, not in Gunsmoke but in Vague Chirpy Phaser Noises.

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Candidates for elected office are chosen by popular vote. The exception is this year’s presidential election in which the voter is expected to vote for the least unpopular. Not even prom king and queen are elected on such a goofy basis.

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The President, without bothering with Congress, has decided to sell (translation – you’ll pay) weapons to The Glorious Working People’s Peace-Loving Communist Republic of Viet-Nam and to send ships to protect them from the increasingly aggressive Glorious Working People’s Peace-Loving Republic of China. Sounds like 1963 all over again.

Viet-Nam doesn’t like us.

China doesn’t like us.

The Philippine government doesn’t like us.

Japan doesn’t like us.

They just use us against each other.

Maybe the USA could take the Switzerland option and stay out of the coming war in Asia. We could send gung-ho Nicholas Clairmont instead.


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